Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching so that eventually I can spend less time tangled-in-time. However, the very act of soul searching can leave one quite tangled-in-space-and-time as one processes all of the data of one’s soul in order to complete the search. Then one must know what one is looking for in order to find it. Then what if you miss process your data!? There is always a chance in any science that we operate under the wrong paradigm. So these are the risks. But the benefits far outweigh the risks.
For example, my soul searching has involved figuring out what I am really good at. In college, I became obsessed with technology and technical writing such that I worked at a software company after college.
I am a bright person who can do almost anything, but there are some things I am better at than other things. I have a sense of what I am really good at, but I haven’t figured out what line of work uses those skills and how to quickly become a person who does that line of work.
For example, I am really good at learning, teaching, and making friends. I have had success in working in the movie industry, comic book industry, R&R industry (massage therapy), and babysitting. I have not had great success with technical writing. I have had mediocre success as a technical writer.
Mediocre success is a drain on the spirit and mind, thus the soul. I am never happy with mediocre results because there is no high and I live for the highs in life. I like to get high, what can I say.
A mediocre life of boring hum-drum to’s and fro’s, ups and downs has never satisfied me because I have a feeling that I am meant for more.
So it is with this desperation that I soul search through my interstellar data to untangle the biggest knot of them all. It is a doozy because so much effort, hopes, identity, knowledge, and mis-knowledge binds the knot. Untying this knot will reveal or cause a shift in my overall thinking and I look forward to that.
So, my breakthrough happened this morning when I met with my boss to discuss the feedback on a brochure I have been working on for a science department. I was expecting the outcome that happened because several things revealed its truth over time. I won’t go into those too much, but it is necessary to mention that my feedback was less than stellar. A lot of the issue has been that the department have no idea what they really want out of a brochure so granted, it is difficult for me to focus on what they want. There are other things that were sadly missing from the list of necessary things that would have facilitated the successful completion of the brochure. Nonetheless, the rejection sank deeply.
I began to clearly, for the first time, see a pattern emerge that I had not so lucidly seen before. I should be doing art. That’s it! I am better at creative writing. I spend my spare time reading fiction, not science or technology for that matter. It is not that I never read it, but it’s not where my head is most of the time. Suddenly, the knowledge I do have became much more specialized than I had previously believed it to be. I had always feared that I was a jack of all trades, but a master of none. However, with this new insight, I can easily tell you unflinchingly that I am a master of the human experience. So that is what I should be writing about.
It is good that I understand concise writing, or topic chunking, and all of the various software programs I know, but these things serve me as much as they help enhance my understanding of the human experience.